We’ll wed again & both wear dresses
Wife who has supported her partner Lucy’s lifelong dream for 18 years reveals her moving story
She looked like her mother – my mum in law is lovely, but it wasn’t the look for her AVRIL CLARK WIFE OF FIRST TRANSGENDER REFEREE
THE wife of the world’s first transgender football referee today tells how she is standing by her partner and vows: “Our marriage will now only get stronger.”
Lucy Clark, 46, took to the pitch yesterday afternoon for the first time since revealing her new identity.
And as she made history, her loyal wife Avril was cheering her on in North West London for the QPR Ladies versus Parkwood Rangers match.
The transition from Nick to Lucy would end many marriages. But Avril, 54, says they are set to renew their vows – and this time they will both be wearing wedding dresses.
It was just six months into their relationship when Lucy told Avril the truth.
“I’ll be forever grateful Lucy told me so early in our relationship,” Avril says.
“When Lucy told me it was a shock. But when you love somebody so much it doesn’t matter. I was the first person she’d told. So I felt very honoured.”
Reliving the moment she told Avril 18 years ago, Lucy, who now has three children, adds: “We’d been out in London and were having a drunken heart to heart and I told her.
“It was nice to have that release. There were no skeletons in my closet. When I woke the next morning I was dead nervous in the cold light of day she would say ‘see you later’.
“But she was cool, we talked more about it and trundled along until the time was right to fully transition.”
It was only a week later when Avril first saw Lucy in a dress. She says: “She looked like her mother. My mother-in-law is lovely but it wasn’t the look for her. We needed to find another.”
Since then, the couple have shopped together with Avril helping her buy make-up and clothes. “The first night was so scary. Stepping out the first time with her as her, Lucy was so happy. She had the biggest smile,” says Avril. But coming to grips with her gender was not an easy journey. “She’d go through stages saying ‘I’m a man,” Avril says. “I’d
come home and find all her things on a bonfire. But I knew she wasn’t gone. Little things would creep in – an ankle chain, nail varnish, new clothes.
“I said at one point you need to stop living a double life, be one or the other. But actually don’t be the other because I know you wouldn’t be happy.”
Lucy says: “I always had periods of denial, not because I didn’t want it but I thought of the implications.”
In the end, it was Avril’s constant support that helped give Lucy the courage to be herself. And that process will continue in the weeks and months ahead as she undergoes surgery.
Avril says: “It’s such a long process and in the end we went private for the hormones. She’s got growth in places she’s had to hide. She had to squeeze her chest down.
“I just want to live our life as Avril and Lucy. We can deal with haters. It’s all coming together. She’s hidden in football for years but it saved her.”
Lucy and Avril say they are as close as ever. Avril adds: “I fancied her as him and I fancy her as her. If you really love somebody does the outside matter? We’re really together.
“We’re in love and that doesn’t change. You just find different ways of being intimate.”
The couple are now looking forward to 2020 – when they will renew their vows after Lucy has undergone gender reassingment surgery.
“We got married on 10.10.10 in Bodrum. We’re renewing our vows in 10.10.20 when Lucy has gone through the full transition. I felt bad on our wedding day wearing a dress as I know that’s what Lucy wanted. She was in shorts and T-shirt.
“But she’s going to outdo me at the next wedding.”
While Avril allowed Lucy to grow into the person she always has been, Lucy has done the same for her wife.
“Being with her has enabled me to be me,” she says.
“When you become a wife and a mum you lose sight of who you are. But now, I’m getting pink and purple in my hair.
“She buys stuff and I go oooh. I bought her a playsuit for her and then went out and bought myself it.
“We went out in the same outfit. She’s got all the expensive make-up. I’ve had years of playing with make-up and now it’s her time.
“She’s my best friend as well as being my wife. I love her so much.”