The otter cheek of rotter Boris

I’m otterly baffled by the former Foreign Secretary’s new love affair with mustelids. Famed more for his burka bashing than wildlife campaigning, Boris Johnson has been talking about, well, otter excrement. More specifically, its “thrilling, musky, fishy aroma”. I know, I know. Which of us hasn’t got a little hot under the collar at the thought of “ottery games in tenebrous pools”?

OK, I don’t know what it means either. But you have to hand it to the man for sheer, otter-like agility. Clearly, Johnson is eyeing a future Tory leadership contest as he glides seamlessly from racist letterbox jibes to touting his eco credentials.

Tarka would be turning in his grave.