WEDDING SNUB FOR BOYFRIEND

Dear Coleen

I’m the youngest of three sisters and I come from quite a controlling family. I married young and left my husband after two years of marriage, because he was also quite controlling.

My mother and sisters have always given me a hard time about this, and it became worse when I met my current boyfriend 18 months ago. He’s lovely and easy-going but my family just don’t like him.

My middle sister is getting married in four months time and she hasn’t invited my boyfriend.

She says that it’s just close family invited, but I know for a fact she’s invited a few work colleagues and their partners.

And anyway, I’m her sister and I’ve been going out with this guy for 18 months. I’ve threatened not to go to the wedding, which has cause huge problems with my parents. What do you think I should do?

Coleen says

Listen, I can imagine how hurt you are, but at the end of the day it’s her wedding and she can invite whoever she likes. And you say your family are controlling, so there’s a good chance your parents are controlling her when it comes to the guest list.

But you know what, you’re happy with this new guy, so is it really worth introducing hassle and arguments into your life?

Is it worth having a big family feud and falling out with your sister, just over one day? So if I was you, I’d bite my tongue and just accept it.

Perhaps you could even reach a compromise with her and suggest that he comes along to the evening? At least that way you’ll have somebody with you for the second part of the day.

If they still say no, I’d say OK, I’ll come to the wedding but I’ll leave for the evening part.