BEEMING ON THE OFF-ROAD TRACK
Brace yourselves, but I bring you shocking news that Germans have a surreal sense of humour. You see, if you think the BMW F 750 and 850 GS have a 750cc and 850cc engine, you’re taking life far too literally, since they both have the same 853cc powerplant.
Mind you, BMW has done this before: in 2012, the F 650 GS, the F 700 GS which replaced it, and the F 800 GS all had the same 798cc engine. Hilarious.
Anyway, when I’d stopped laughing, I found myself in Wales just about to spend two days at BMW’s Off Road Skills centre in the Brecon Beacons run by Dakar Rally legend Simon Pavey.
I started on the 750, and first impressions were lovely – plush build quality, commanding but comfortable riding position, great mirrors and multiple riding modes.
Acceleration is satisfying lusty, accompanied by a deliciously visceral snarl thanks to a 270-degree crank which gives an edge to what would otherwise be the anodyne drone of a typical parallel twin.
The gearbox is as slick as a Swiss watch and twin discs up front haul it in with aplomb, although I found the back brake a bit wooden in feel and bite.
And so to Simon’s playground for some off-road fun.
After a couple of laps I was actually enjoying myself. Heavens, I even got into third gear at one stage.
Splendid. To celebrate, I switched to the 850, which has a slightly higher seat, more power and torque, and is just the 750 after a month in the gym.
The next day, they were just as fast, stable and fun on the road, even though while the rest of the nation was sweltering under blue skies, it was chucking it down in Wales. In fact, the only fault I can think of was when a message flashed up on the screen saying: Your emergency call service is inactive. Please contact your nearest BMW technical centre.
You see, there’s an SOS button on the right-hand bar. If you crash, just press it and apparently a nice girl in Switzerland calls to offer you condolences and an ambulance. So either she’d gone home for some chocolate and a yodel, or the mobile signal had been absorbed by the several million soggy sheep in Wales.
I suspect the latter.