HE GOES INTO GARAGE TO ESCAPE MUM

Dear Coleen

It’s really starting to bother me that my husband can’t stand to be around my mother. She is really difficult and can be opinionated but I’ve just learned to zone her out.

But my husband often takes offence at the things she says. In the last few years he’s made less and less effort with her, to the point that when he knows she’s coming round he goes out.

Or if she turns up unexpectedly for a cup of tea, he’ll take himself off to the garden or garage. And he point blank refuses to come with me when I go to visit her.

Just lately she’s been asking why she never sees him any more and I don’t know what to say. I feel a little bit stuck in the middle and don’t know what to do any more. What do you advise?

Coleen says Stop making excuses for him and be honest with your mum. Be nice while you’re at it and just say, ‘you know what Mum, I really love you, but you can be quite opinionated and I think it drives him a little bit insane. I love you because you’re my mum but he doesn’t.’

The fact you’re saying she’s difficult means she must be. Or if you don’t want to be that blunt with your mum you could say, ‘I don’t know. Why don’t you go out in garden and ask him?’

That way it’s between the two of them and you don’t have to get involved. It’s hard for him, but at least he’s taking himself off and not getting into an argument with her. You could also just tell your mum he’s leaving you two alone to get some mother and daughter time. The best case scenario in a marriage is when partners get on with our parents, but that doesn’t always happen, so try not to stress too much.