My story of the week

COURIERS delivered my new suit in one of those cardboard boxes bound in more parcel tape than an Egyptian mummy is bound in bandages.

Struggling to find a way to open the package, my lovely wife Sarah intervened, tutting: “What did they teach you at football school?”

Since you ask, dear, it was more about tactics, set pieces and fitness than pass the parcel. I must have nodded off the day Sir Alex Ferguson walked in to the dressing room and said: “Right lads, today we’re going to learn how to open a cardboard box.”