I HATE HUBBY AFTER JUST TWO YEARS

Dear Coleen

I’ve been married two years and was dating my husband for 18 months before we tied the knot.

Things have changed dramatically between us since we got married and moved in together. From being so in love, I now despise him a lot of the time and resent him for being a rubbish husband.

He spends most of his time at work. He’s never affectionate any more and he’s unbelievably lazy around the house, so I do pretty much everything.

I feel cheated and that I’m wasting my time with him, but how do I call it quits on a marriage that’s only two years old? I’m not sure how or why it went wrong, but I know I can’t carry on like this.

Coleen says

Moving in together can be a real eye-opener. When you were dating, you probably stayed with each other once or twice a week and met each other for dates, so the domestic stuff wasn’t really an issue.

First of all, stop doing his share of everything – cooking, cleaning, washing etc. This will probably drive you mad if you like everything neat and tidy, but I hope it’ll make him think about how much you do every day to contribute to your relationship. It seems to me as if you’re living separate lives in the same house and the communication and intimacy you once had has gone.

If he’ll agree to it, I think relationship therapy would help you work through what’s gone wrong. If you suggest it, hopefully he’ll realise how unhappy you are.

All relationships go through rocky times and this could just be an early blip. And it might be a case of going back to the beginning and “dating” again, and reminding yourselves of why you got married in the first place. Good luck.