DREADING EX AT OUR SON’S GRADUATION

Dear Coleen

My son’s graduation ceremony is coming up, and his dad (my ex) is going to be there with his wife.

I haven’t seen him since he left me eight years ago for the woman he’s now married to.

It was a cliché – she was younger and worked in his office. I was hurt and angry for a long time and the ending wasn’t amicable.

My son is very sensitive to all of this, but naturally wants us both to be there, so he’s suggested we all meet up for dinner beforehand.

I want to be there for my son, but I just don’t think I can sit with them at dinner, especially as I’m still on my own, so I won’t have the support of a partner. Any advice?

Coleen says

I think it’ll be harder to meet for a small dinner than attend the graduation where there will be tons of other people, lots of distractions, maybe even other friends and family, and you can go your separate ways afterwards.

In fact, you could probably get away with simply saying “hello” and “goodbye” to your ex in these circumstances.

So if you really can’t bear the thought of the dinner, then be honest with your son while reassuring him that you’ll be OK at the graduation.

Your son is trying to do what he thinks is best and what will help you on the day, but I’m sure he’ll understand if you explain how you feel. I’m sure what matters most to him is that you’re at his graduation.