CAN’T STAND FELLOW BRIDESMAID

Dear Coleen

One of my good friends is getting married in a few weeks and I’m one of her bridesmaids. I’ve been getting increasingly tense about the wedding day because there’s a lot of bad feeling between one of the other bridesmaids and me.

She slept with a boyfriend of mine a few years ago, which was devastating at the time and it broke up our two-year relationship. My ex dated her for a while after we split, but it only lasted a few weeks.

The bride obviously knows all about what happened and asked me if I could handle us both being bridesmaids. She’s known this girl since they were kids – she’s her oldest friend – so she didn’t feel she could exclude her from her special day.

A year ago, when the wedding seemed far off, I thought it would be OK, but now I’m not so sure. I haven’t seen this girl since it all happened as she lives abroad now.

How should I handle things on the day?

Coleen says

Calmly! Look, it’s going to be a bit awkward when you first see each other and you’re not going to suddenly be buddies but, realistically, how much time will you need to spend with her?

Once the service and the photos are over, you’ll be mixing with the other guests and hopefully enjoying yourself too much to worry about it. Plus, I’m sure this girl is even more nervous about seeing you and wondering if you’re still angry about what she did. She might even surprise you and apologise.

But the bottom line is it’s your friend’s big day, so rise above it for her sake. It’s not the right time to have a showdown, so go easy on the booze if you think a bit of Dutch courage might spark a confrontation.