I don’t know how to help friend suffering anxiety

She worries about floods, fires, everything

Dear Coleen

I work part-time with a lady who is naturally gregarious and sociable. Recently though, she’s become very thin and looks exhausted.

She worries about everything and told me she actually feels afraid to leave her flat in case it gets flooded or catches alight.

Things that most of us find a way of dealing with blow her mind.

At work, we try to lighten the conversation, but she goes back to imagined disasters.

My own daughter was traumatised when her baby boy contracted meningitis and was at death’s door.

After he recovered, she worried about things endlessly, but counselling really helped, so I suggested it to my workmate.

Her GP prescribed tablets, but she declined the counselling, saying she was OK. That was some time ago and now she’s like a rat in a cage.

She has a daughter who is blasé about it – I don’t know if this is how she deals with her mum’s anxiety or if she doesn’t care.

I’ve no idea how to help my colleague. What do you suggest?

Coleen says

I think you should suggest that she goes back to her GP and revisits the idea of counselling or looks into cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), which is very effective for anxiety disorders.

The trouble is, when you’re in the grip of anxiety or depression, it can very easily spiral out of control and become overwhelming, so you don’t think logically and you start catastrophising every situation. Sit down with her and tell her you’re worried about her and would love to help.

Tell her that counselling doesn’t mean you’re weak or can’t cope – in fact, the opposite is true. It shows strength and the desire to take back control.

It’s just hard when you’re feeling low to see the wood from the trees – and everything is magnified.

As you’ve probably read in this paper and seen on telly, I’ve had a horrible couple of weeks and, for the first time in my life, thought this must be what depression feels like.

I felt cut off from myself, nauseous and shaky, and totally overwhelmed.

It was a horrible place to be and I couldn’t think straight to see a way out.

But with the right support from friends like you and professionals, I know your friend can start to feel like herself again.

Let her know you’re willing to help.