PAL’S SHOCK LOVE CONFESSION

Dear Coleen

I have a great female friend I’ve known since we were at primary school. We’re both in our late 20s now and have kept in touch through the years and meet up whenever we can.

The last time we got together we both got a bit drunk and she admitted she was in love with me.

I was shocked because I didn’t see it coming – and a little bit flattered, too, if I’m honest.

She’s very sexy and funny, and I’ve always loved her as a mate, but never really thought there could be anything more between us because we’ve been friends for so long.

I’ve been in a relationship for three years and, while things are good, we don’t live together and I’m not sure where it’s heading. What do I do? Either way, I’m going to hurt someone and I’d hate to lose my friend who I’ve known for most of my life.

Coleen says

With this admission – and it was quite a brave thing to admit – I think the goalposts have shifted and your friendship has already changed because she’s in love with you. If you decide you don’t want a romantic relationship with her, then it’ll probably be hard to go back to being just friends as she’ll be hoping for more.

It sounds like it’s made you think about your relationship, though, and where it’s headed, so I think you need to focus on deciding what to do about that first. And that’s what you should tell your friend. I’m sure she’ll get that.

You can’t stay with your girlfriend because you’re afraid of hurting her feelings – that’s not fair on anyone. But be careful it’s not just your ego that’s flattered.

For the moment, put some space between you and your friend in order to work out what you want to do about your relationship.