SIMPLY THE BEAST
The 6ft 4in, 17-stone larger than life, lager at night player recalls: I’d get to the hotel on Friday, put on some bets, have fishcakes and a burger.. then on match day I’d have a full English before the game.. well you have to enjoy yourself, don’t you? Football is just a job to me
AT his footballing peak, Jon ‘The Beast’ Parkin would regularly wolf down fish cakes, a burger and a full English breakfast before taking to the field.
Post-match, his ‘meal’ of choice, was almost always lager. A lot of it.
But there are no regrets. Not even Harry Kane lauding the influence of a personal nutritionist is enough to provoke doubts about his lifestyle choices.
After all, the journeyman striker, 36, boasts an impressive record, with 220 goals in 643 games at every level from the Championship to National League North. And most importantly, he has “had a bloody good time”.
Parkin, a cult hero at several of his 14 clubs, describes that “good time”, often in gory detail, in his riotous memoirs Feed The Beast.
Ahead of its release this week, the straight-talking Yorkshireman spoke to Mirror Football, offering typically honest views on young footballers and Jose Mourinho’s meltdown.
Parkin, in his second spell at National League North side York City, does not blame the likes of Kane for hiring chefs to give them the edge – even if their approach contrasts with his own.
He said: “They’ve got to do it. There are such fine margins – little percentages – that the difference between being a very good player and an incredible player can be minute.”
The 6ft 4in striker, who suspects he tipped the scales at about 17 stone at his heaviest, admits he is one of a dying breed, unwilling to make sacrifices just for football.
“I honestly believe that if I was 20 now, I would never have had a career in football,” he said.
“When I was at Preston, my pre-match, if we were at home, was to get to the hotel after training on a Friday, put a couple of bets on, have fish cakes and the Marriott burger.
“Then I’d get up on the Saturday morning and have a full English before the game.
“Football has never been the most important thing in my life. It’s always been a job to me. It’s a job you’re privileged to do and lucky to do in a way, but it has always been a job.
“You’ve got to enjoy yourself, haven’t you? Football is a slog at times. You’re in from the end of June to the end of May and you’re dictated to for 10 months of the year.
“There are things you miss weddings, birthday parties, kids’ parents’ evenings.
“Look at Fabian Delph. He flew back from the World Cup because his missus had a baby. Then he had to go back to Russia.
“People will say, ‘Well, they get paid enough’, but he’s still sacrificing something he’s never going to get back – time with his newborn baby.”
In 2008, Parkin achieved the unthinkable – promotion to the Premier League with Stoke –
Football has never been the most important thing. It’s a slog at times I could have played higher for longer – but I’ve had a bloody good time
but was moved on before he could make a top-flight appearance. He is not, however, one to dwell on what might have been. “I’ve never been blessed with pace, so I’m not sure I’d have been quick enough for the Premier League,” he said. “My touch might have been good enough, but would I have enjoyed it? I don’t know, with all the scrutiny. Sometimes, I just want to go away with the lads and do what I want. “I probably could’ve done better. I probably could’ve played higher for longer, but I’ve had a bloody good time.” Parkin (below, tangling with Alan Shearer), who turns 37 in December, now has teammates born after he made his debut in 1999.
And he says there are differences between playing in the Championship or League One and non-league – especially with young players. He added: “I’m tearing my hair out with them. They’re 19 or 20 and have played a handful of games in League Two or below.
“Going in nightclubs, getting a table and ordering bottles of Grey Goose vodka, they’re acting like they’ve made it when they’ve not done anything. You try to help them on the pitch and they have a go back at you and you think, ‘If you’re not going to listen, then there’s no point wasting my breath’.”