I’M TEMPTED BY FEELINGS FOR A FRIEND

Dear Coleen

I love my girlfriend so much – she’s amazing and I don’t know what I’d do without her. However, I’ve got feelings for one of my friends.

We have so much in common and I constantly find excuses to text her, even if it’s just about something pointless. I get the impression she feels the same as she’s always very touchy with me.

I would never do anything with her because of my girlfriend, but I can’t help feeling confused by all of this. I really don’t know what to do.

Coleen says Well, you kind of do know what to do – don’t go there!

What I’ve seen with my daughter Ciara and friends, is that they’re all very touchy-feely, but it’s not in a sexual way, so your friend might not actually mean anything by it.

Back to your girlfriend – you say she’s amazing and things are great, but is there something missing? Or are you just tempted by something you can’t have? I think that’s a feeling we all have at some point in our lives.

When you’re young, temptation is normal, and when you’re in a relationship and it becomes comfortable, other things start looking attractive. That’s human nature, but it’s how you deal with it that’s important.

It’s better to address your relationship before you leap into something else. Yes, if you finish with your girlfriend she’ll be hurt, but not as devastated as she’d be if you cheated on her.

If I were you, I’d create a bit of distance from your friend and see how you feel once she’s not around so much. If you decide you’d like to pursue something with her, then you’re not in the right relationship.