Not so sweet 16 out to woo Sugar

KICKING OFF The Apprentice returns The Apprentice is back and the BBC are introducing the 16 hopefuls they recruited following their tour of the seventh circle of hell.

It’s a kind of Meet the Fockers before they turn into really nasty fockers who would sell their granny to snuff video-makers if it meant they could win the dubious prize of working for Alan Sugar. (Hopefully selling sunglasses to him on a beach).

They promote themselves with bizarre and pitiful lines like this one from Daniel: “They say money can’t buy happiness. But I’d rather be crying in a sports car than a banger.”

Bizarre because you know after five minutes listening to him viewers will want to see him lying in the path a sports car, and pitiful because you know the tough guy will soon be crying in the back of a taxi after Sugar points his stubby finger at him.

Still, let’s wish them luck in their quest for TV stardom and hope they all end up like the show’s most famous graduate, Katie Hopkins.

Demented, despised and destitute.