STILLBIRTH: THE FACTS
if I wanted to see her I started to cry, I didn’t want to look. But Rob felt differently and encouraged me to see her. So they dressed her and brought her to us. We called her Emma.
“I felt such love, but such guilt. I just kept kissing her head and saying, ‘I’m sorry’.
“The postmortem showed she had been perfect which only made me feel worse. But it meant we could try again – and so we had our gorgeous Eva.”
When Clare got pregnant again the 12 and 20-week scans went well.
But a few weeks later she had “that same horrendous feeling of doom” and a scan revealed there was no heartbeat.
Rob says: “We just couldn’t believe it was happening again. Our daughter was delivered at 25 weeks and we called her Faith.
“When we started trying again six months later we were determined it would be our last shot. But at 27 weeks it happened again.”
Clare goes on: “I was terrified but almost calm because
I knew how it would play... it was my reality. This time we had a little boy, Bobby.
“Afterwards I just focused on Eva and on getting healthy. But Rob and I had many, ‘Shall we? Shan’t we?’ conversations.
“Then in 2014 we went to see Professor Heazell.
“He said there was no cure for what was happening but they could help and support us if we wanted to try again. So we decided to go for it.
“But, tragically, we lost the twins at 18 weeks. We named them Isla and Georgie – and I lost all hope.
“We agonised for a year before deciding to try again – promising each other this would be the last time.
“I got pregnant in August 2017 and saw Dr Alex at five and eight weeks and had scans in week 12, 17, 20 then every two weeks. “I had blood-thinning injections, aspirin, steroids, an anti-inflammatory medication.
“The team held our hands every step of the way. They were so lovely and understanding. Just the continuity of care, not having to explain the misery over and over, meant so much.”
On May 4, Prof Alex delivered Lyla by caesarean. “When I saw her little face I burst into tears,” says Clare. “There are no words to explain the relief. My shoulders dropped and I thought ‘It’s done’.
“Rob is now surrounded by girls and he loves it. Seeing him with our daughters brings me so much joy and makes me feel so grateful that we never gave up.
“That sense of hopelessness and despair becomes overwhelming but the support and knowledge of the Rainbow team at St Mary’s restored our hope.
“They didn’t just give us Lyla, they gave us our lives back.” In the UK, one in 225 pregnancies ends in stillbirth, meaning more than 3,430 babies die every year. Half of cases are unexplained but many babies die because the mother’s placenta fails. The UK’s leading baby charity, Tommy’s, is striving to halve the number by 2030 and is funding pioneering research. Their research centre in Manchester saw 19% fewer stillbirths in 2017 than in 2010. Experts have found a way of ensuring drugs can be delivered directly to the placental arteries, improving blood vessel function and increasing foetal growth. The centre also found that mothers who go to sleep on their backs double their risk of stillbirth compared to mums who sleep on their sides.
Visit: tommys.org Pregnancy information line 0800 014 7800
Tommy’s said there was no cure but they could help us if we wanted to try for a baby again