HOW DO WE EXPLAIN SEX SWITCH?

Dear Coleen

My son is at the very start of the process of transitioning to become a woman and we now see him as our daughter.

Our family has mostly been accepting and very supportive of her, which has been a huge relief for my husband and I.

Although she’s in her late 20s now, we still feel very protective and want to help her through this process as best we can.

My dilemma is, she has a son from a previous relationship.

Our grandson is now four and lives with his mother (the relationship broke up when he was just a baby), and none of us has any idea about how to explain what his dad is going through.

We don’t want him to be upset and confused, but he will have to get used to his dad becoming a woman and looking very different. Have you any advice?

Coleen says

First of all, this is just the start of a long and thorough process and, as part of that, your daughter will need counselling.

And through that, she will be able to talk about her son, address her fears and get advice from her counsellor, as well as from the wider trans community.

There are also lots of useful online resources for trans people and their families – visit beaumontsociety.org.uk/ partners-and-families.

Children, especially if they’re as young as four, are actually incredibly accepting and non-judgmental.

If your grandson were a teenager, I think it could be trickier as they are very aware of themselves and how they fit in, and often worry about what their friends think.

Being so young, the hope is that your grandson will gradually get used to his dad going through these changes and of course there’s an age-appropriate way of explaining it.

As he gets older he will have more questions, but you just have to deal with them as they come along. Good luck to you all.