I’M LOST AFTER QUITTING JOB

Dear Coleen

I’m a 40-year-old man and I left a very good job a couple of years ago after suffering from stress. Since then, I’ve struggled to come to terms with my new lifestyle.

This really hits home when I check social media to see all my former colleagues carrying on being happy and successful, while I’m still struggling to find my feet.

I’ve done the odd bit of work, but nothing compared to what I was doing. I’m just not sure where I fit in any more or what I want my future to look like. Am I being dramatic? Could I be depressed?

Coleen says

I don’t think you’re being dramatic, but you are focusing on the wrong things. Take a step back and put the situation into perspective. You left that job because it was too stressful and was having a negative impact on your wellbeing. So, while you see all these ex-colleagues on social media having a great time, remind yourself of what it was actually like in the office!

Social media is not the real world – it’s an edited version of the world where everyone is doing great and they have perfect kids, fabulous holidays and an amazing love life. Some of that stuff might be true, but it’s not like that 24/7.

I always think of it as a place where people go to boast and you don’t boast about the rubbish bits.

You should celebrate the fact that, instead of staying in a job that was making you miserable and ill, you made a brave decision and left in order to change your life. So stop dwelling on the past and put your energy into what you want to do now and in the future.

A job can be a bit like a relationship in that when you leave it, you can fall into the trap of romanticising about the good bits and forget about the bad times that made you leave.