Vowed to stick by me
and I would hide in the back room and my mum would go absolutely crazy.
“She would say ‘he’s come round to see you, you have to go. I’m not going to tell him you’re not in’.”
The pair soon saw past their differences and married within a year of those first dates.
Two weeks later Lynne’s husband confessed to her that he enjoyed wearing women’s clothes.
Steff said: “I couldn’t use the term gender dysphoria because I had no clue what that was.
“But neither of us knew the consequences of what was coming.”
Lynne added: “It wasn’t once said ‘I think I’ve been born in the wrong body’. We thought it was a sexual thing [he was] going through.
“It didn’t bother me he wanted to put on stockings or suspenders or a skirt. I didn’t even think about it because it wasn’t something that was done all the time.” Apart from Lynne knowing, Steff kept the love of wearing women’s clothes a secret.
The couple had two sons, and Steff feared that living openly as a woman while the lads were little might lead to them being teased at school.
She said: “We knew how cruel schoolkids could be and if I had transitioned when I was younger it would have wrecked their lives I’m sure.
“Every waking moment I had to suppress this feeling of ‘I’m not me... I’m not me’.
“My thoughts and my feelings were dragging at me constantly.”
In 2013 Steff decided the time was right to think about transitioning.
She said: “We had three years of talking and talking to try to sort the issue. I don’t think I would be here if I didn’t transition.
“So Valentine’s Day when I went in I had surgery... I walked out with Lynne and I just whooped for joy.
“I took my first breath outside... It was a very emotional moment.” But Steff admits things are not perfect.
Speaking to the BBC, she said: “I miss the intimacy. I really do. But Lynne can’t make that leap.
“Lynne had to go through the loss of her husband and then after that I had to go through the loss of my wife.”
Lynne misses having a man’s arms around her.
The mum said: “Steff is gay. She has liked women, she’s always liked women. I’ve always been 110 per cent heterosexual. [Steve] every day.
“To have a man’s hands around you, kissing you, protecting you.
“I’m not in her head to understand to see how she thinks. And she’s not in my head to feel what I’ve lost.
“She is a very tactile person who likes to be cuddled and kissed and hug and hold hands and I can’t do that. I just can’t do it.”
Lynne added: “She says ‘well you can cuddle your friends when you’re down’ but my friends have always been in that female form... They weren’t my husband to start with.”
Since transitioning, Steff has become a presenter at BCfm Radio, hosting a weekly show on Fridays.
Steff said: “I am so, so happy. It was always a dream to get into radio. That didn’t happen until I transitioned. I am much more confident. And I’m STILL AN ITEM Married couple Lynne & Steff enjoy a trip to a park
I miss him probably the happiest I’ve ever been in my entire life. And I’m now me.
“We still love each other. And I guess that’s what got us through this.”
Lynne said: “There have been other people in my life but there isn’t anyone that I would want to be with more than I want to be with Steff.
“Our marriage certificate still says Steve Barnett and Lynne Hogan and as far as I’m concerned that is a sacred piece of paper to me and that’s how it will always be.
“We’ve had a hell of a journey. Ups and downs, good and bad and I just can’t see us not being together.
“You just count your blessings and think that things could be so much worse. I’m one of the lucky ones.”
■ The couple told their story to BBC Inside Out West. It is on BBC1 in the West at 7.30pm today, and afterwards it will be available on BBC iPlayer.