DOES SEX WITH ANOTHER MAN MEAN I’M GAY?

Dear Coleen

I’m a man in my early 20s and confused after a sexual encounter I’ve had with another guy.

I’ve always been straight and never fancied men, and I’ve had lots of girlfriends, although I’m single at the moment.

I hooked up with this guy after we’d been out drinking in a group and I stayed the night at his place. We’d had a bit to drink and it just happened kind of naturally, and I enjoyed it. The next day I felt embarrassed and left when I woke up, and I haven’t seen him since.

I’m not sure how to feel about this as I’ve never been attracted to men in the past, but I keep thinking about that night. I’m driving myself mad with it – any ideas?

Coleen says

I wouldn’t put pressure on yourself to feel a certain way – just accept the feelings you have. You enjoyed it and it was a new experience, but don’t try to immediately put yourself into a category.

Maybe you’re bisexual and will experiment more with same-sex relationships or maybe you won’t. Plenty of people who consider themselves straight have had a same-sex encounter at some point.

I think you have to just go with your feelings and see where they take you, but don’t beat yourself up over it. If you want to pursue something with this guy or another man, don’t feel bad about it.

Maybe this has awakened something in you. The important thing is to be true to yourself and not follow a path because you think it’s what’s expected of you.