HE ONLY WANTS TO BE FRIENDS

Dear Coleen

I met a really nice guy when I moved to a new city to study. He has helped me a lot with settling into my new environment and getting familiar with the place.

He even let me stay in his house for a few days before I found a place of my own. During this time, we were drawn to each other and I slept with him (no sex) in his bed a few times. We had a really good time together.

However, he mentioned pretty early that I shouldn’t expect much from him. I know this means he’s not into having a serious relationship, but I find myself drawn to him emotionally and I think about him day and night.

However, I do know that he wouldn’t offer me any proper commitment.

What should I do?

Coleen says

I think he’s definitely looking for a no-strings arrangement and if that’s not enough for you, then you have to be strong and not get involved any deeper than you already are.

A “friends with benefits” thing only works if both people are on the same page and, even then, one person usually ends up getting hurt because they become emotionally involved and want more.

Be his friend, but don’t take it any further. Now you are settled, you’re probably meeting new and interesting people all the time, and you’ll have the opportunity to meet other guys who are into having an exclusive relationship.

Don’t sell yourself short or get involved in something that you know deep down isn’t for you.