I’VE STARTED TO FANTASISE ABOUT SEX

Dear Coleen

I’m a woman in my mid-40s and I’m happily married. But for the first time ever, I’ve found myself attracted to other men. It’s not that there’s anything wrong with my marriage – and we also have a good sex life – but I almost feel like I did when I was in my 20s and I’m thinking about sex a lot!

Is this normal? I don’t think I’d ever act on it, but I am feeling a bit disloyal to my husband for having these thoughts and feelings.

Can you shed any light?

Coleen says

Well, maybe it’s your biological clock cranking up again. Menopause is on the horizon so perhaps your hormones are screaming “This is it!”

I’ve actually heard other women in their 40s saying the same thing, so I don’t think these feelings are unusual or odd.

The thing is not to worry about it. It’s wonderful that you’re feeling so good about yourself and it can benefit your relationship. You’ve got a great husband to look good for and enjoy sex with, so use it to your advantage.

As far as looking at other men goes, that’s pretty normal, but if you’re happily married then don’t ruin a good thing by acting on it.

Don’t worry about being disloyal – I’m sure your husband has looked at other women and found them attractive. It’s human nature, especially if you’ve been in a relationship for a long time.

So, I wouldn’t make too much of these feelings if you’re genuinely happy in your marriage.