GROWN-UP CHILDREN

‘Avoid being the bank of mum and dad’

For this generation of children and young adults, it’s going to be hard for parents to avoid lending money.

After all, this generation are unlikely to own their own home and have a secure job for the rest of their lives.

It’s a different world to the one many of us grew up in.

As long as your kids are making a real effort in their life and trying to do things on their own merit, it’s OK to lend money from time to time.

But if children are not taking responsibility for themselves, and just looking for a hand-out, then giving money constantly will hold them back.

‘Don’t give unsolicited advice’

It’s impossible to have a close relationship with your children without telling them what you really think.

The truth is, we should always feel able to express ourselves honestly with people who we love and who love us.

What is really important is the way that you do it.

If you say to someone, “do this”, then it closes the conversation. The person on the receiving end will either accept or reject your opinion.

Instead, say something more open like, “how do you feel about this idea?” This way it should trigger a conversation about your idea so you are able to discuss it.

Verdict: BREAK IT

‘Have a life of your own’

Your happiness will be inextricably linked to that of your children for the rest of your life. But one day they will hopefully have families of their own. Showing your children that you have a full and busy life full of activities and friendships is important.

When things go wrong, showing them that you’re resilient and have coping strategies is also good behaviour that your child can model, no matter what stage they are at in their own lives.

Verdict: KEEP IT

Verdict: BREAK IT

As long as kids make a real effort to do things on their own, it’s OK to lend money from time to time