I FEEL SO SAD MY SON CAN’T FIND PARTNER

Dear Coleen

My youngest son owns his own home, has a nice car and works with me in our newsagent. I adore him – he’s the apple of my eye and a very handsome, smart man.

My problem is, he is finding it very difficult to find love in his life. We are of Pakistani origin and if we were in Pakistan I could help him, but we’ve been here for 30 years and I don’t know what to do. I’m a confident person, but he is very shy.

How can I help him?

Coleen says

As a mother, you want to help them through everything but in some things they have to find their own way. I guess because you’re so confident you could help him in terms of becoming socially more comfortable and speaking to people.

He must have to interact with people in the shop, so could you give him more responsibility?

Perhaps because you’re so outgoing and confident he’s been able to take a back seat.

He needs to realise that the world won’t fall apart because he’s spoken to someone.

My daughter struggled with crippling shyness when younger and one day I thought, “I’ve got to stop speaking for her”. Your son doesn’t have to become loud and extrovert – that’s not who he is and not every woman likes that.

But encourage him to go out with his friends and to join clubs – like a gym for example – which will give him more opportunities to meet new people and gradually build his confidence.

And make sure you build him up and tell him how great he is and what he’s got going for him.