IVF FAILURE BLIGHTS CHRISTMAS

Dear Coleen

Christmas is always a really hard time of year for me, as it’s all about children and, so far, I haven’t been able to have any after trying for five years.

My husband and I have recently had a failed IVF (the second attempt) and it just feels like the last straw.

We’re both very down about it and now have to face Christmas with our families. His sister is pregnant and my brother has a baby and a toddler. I love my nephew and niece dearly, but being around them will also be a reminder of what I don’t have.

Do you have any advice on how I can cope over the holidays?

Coleen says

It is hard, but your Christmas doesn’t have to revolve around children. In fact, I’ve never felt that it’s all about the kids and I’ve got three of them! I just love this time of year and actually enjoy taking a bit of time out for myself in between the family commitments.

Your emotions are still raw because IVF has failed again, so you will be feeling extra sensitive. But don’t feel you have to fake being happy. It sounds as if you’re close to your family and it’s OK to let them know it’s hard for you so they’re aware of it and you all get though it together.

Try to enjoy the time with your niece and nephew and, if you have moments when you’re struggling a bit, then take off for a bit. Go for a walk or a drink and take some time out with your husband away from the family situation.