Dear Coleen

I MARRIED TO PLEASE MUM AND DAD

I got married in line with religion and church procedure. I don’t really know my husband that well, as we didn’t date before getting married. In fact, I’d say I married to impress my parents who believe in this kind of arrangement.

Now I really regret ever doing it. My husband and I are like two different puzzles that won’t fit together. I’m relieved when he’s away and the mere thought of him depresses me.

However, I’m afraid to even bring up the idea of divorce because of my religion. The truth is I’m not enjoying this marriage at all. Please help.

Coleen says

There are things in life that you can do to please your parents and make them proud of you, but getting married to someone you barely know is a huge gamble. And you’re realising now how important that is as you can see years of unhappiness stretching out before you with a person you don’t like very much and are not compatible with.

You’ve made a mistake in terms of what’s right for you and that’s OK – we all make mistakes in life – but the key is to learn from them.

So, if you know this marriage is wrong, then be brave and tell your husband and also speak to your family – perhaps there’s someone you trust more than the others who you can open up to.

I understand your fear of admitting to your family how you feel, but you can’t stay married to someone just to keep them happy. They don’t have to live with your husband.

Do what’s right for you and good luck.