NEW YEAR’S MADE ME MISERABLE

Dear Coleen

Although it’s the start of a new year, I feel miserable.

Last year was tough – I’ve struggled financially for various reasons and I’m just about keeping my head above water. I also have two young children and find that stressful, too, trying to care for them while working part time.

My husband works hard, but doesn’t earn as much as I would if I went back to work full time, but his job isn’t flexible, which means I have to take on most of the childcare.

I know there are people who are far worse off than I am, but I’m struggling to see the light at the end of the tunnel and don’t want my kids to be affected by my negativity.

Have you got any advice?

Coleen says

New Year is a funny time – yes, it’s an opportunity to say “out with the old” and have new goals, but it can also put you in a reflective mood about all the stuff you haven’t achieved and make you feel a bit overwhelmed. So, I don’t think you’re alone.

I’m not one for making big resolutions because they’re daunting and put a lot of pressure on you. However, I do think setting yourself small, achievable goals is positive. Find a way to make time for yourself each week to relieve stress. Or look at ways you could work more to relieve financial pressure. Childcare is expensive, but maybe you could share the cost with another mum or ask your parents if they can help out.

The time when your kids are young is stressful for most couples, trying to work and raise a family, but it doesn’t last for ever. I don’t know how old your kids are, but once they start school, you won’t have the same childcare costs.

Tell your husband how you feel. I get the sense you don’t want to worry him because he’s working hard and there are no options. Remember you’re a team and support each other.