STRUGGLING AFTER MOVE OUT OF CITY

Dear Coleen

Nearly a year ago, I moved from the city to the countryside with my husband and our two young children. After many years working in a good career and enjoying city life, we decided to move out for the sake of the kids – fresh air, good schools... the usual reasons.

The thing is, even though we have a lovely house and my husband has a good job, so we’re not struggling for money, I’m miserable and missing my old life.

I keep thinking about my old job and social life. In fact, I just think about the past all the time.

My husband keeps telling me I need to give this new venture a chance, but I can’t see me changing my mind. Can you help?

Coleen says

It’s OK to miss your old life – those feelings are normal – but you seem stuck in the past, which means you’re in danger of missing out on making the most of this new life you’ve embarked on without giving yourself the chance to enjoy it.

Also, our minds have a funny way of recalling all the great things about the past and glossing over all the rubbish bits. So remind yourself of those and the positive reasons why you relocated.

The phase of life you’re in now with young children is wonderful, but also very challenging as it requires a big shift in lifestyle and outlook. You have to make a lot of adjustments, both practically and emotionally, and that’s really hard for a lot of people.

This phase doesn’t have to be any less wonderful, but it will be different. I think it’ll help you to build up your social network locally, and kids are a great way into that through nursery and school.