INSECURITY RUINING NEW LOVE

Dear Coleen

I met an amazing girl recently and we’ve been inseparable. I really think this relationship could have legs.

My only problem is, I already find I’m suspicious of where she’s been and who she’s been with if she hasn’t been with me.

She’s given me absolutely no reason not to trust her.

But I have had two girlfriends in the past who both cheated on me, leaving me feeling stupid and heartbroken.

I hate feeling paranoid and insecure, but I’m not sure how to cope with these feelings.

She has no idea I have these trust issues and I don’t want to come across as needy and possessive. Any ideas?

Coleen says

I can understand why you feel insecure. I’ve been cheated on more times than I care to remember, but I’ve always gone into a new relationship positively and made the decision to trust someone unless they give me a very good reason not to.

And I always thought if they let me down, I’ll get over it and survive it because that’s what I’ve always done in the past.

Don’t ruin the potential of what could be a wonderful relationship because of what other people have done.

This is a fresh start so embrace it.

You’re right, neediness and possessiveness aren’t attractive qualities, and if your girlfriend finds herself constantly reassuring you, she’ll get fed up with it.

Try to relax and enjoy this exciting time in your life and resist the urge to sabotage it.