SON GOT BAD BEHAVIOUR FROM COUSIN

Dear Coleen

My son is three years old and he has a cousin (my brother’s son) who is 18 months older. They play together pretty well, but the cousin is quite a naughty boy at times – a real handful if I’m honest.

My son has picked up some bad behaviour from him – namely swearing, pinching and spitting, which I’m mortified about, as he’s been doing these things at nursery and I’ve had a few complaints from other mums.

The nursery called me in to talk about my son’s behaviour and I explained the situation with his cousin, but I’m sure the other mums will steer clear of us from now on.

I want to say something to my brother, but I’m not sure how to bring it up as he and his wife are very sensitive about their kids.

What do you think?

Coleen says

Three year olds are like sponges and they pick up stuff from other kids all the time – especially those they look up to and are impressed by. Firstly, the nursery mums need to be careful about getting all high and mighty because it could be one of their children who’s being complained about next week – and it probably will be!

Don’t laugh or a make a big deal about the swearing (he’ll just do it more), and if he’s aggressive towards other children, then make sure there are unpleasant consequences – ie take away a treat or a favourite toy.

You’ll probably find he comes through this phase but, in the meantime, you could mention to your brother casually that your son is copying some of his lad’s behaviour. Yes, he might be offended or it could embarrass him into setting some boundaries.