Daily Mirror

Give ’Arry extra time

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I started a joke which started the whole world crying

But I didn’t see that the joke was on me oh no

I started to cry which started the whole world laughing

Oh If I’d only seen that the joke was on me

I looked at the skies running my hands over my eyes

And I fell out of bed hurting my head from things that I said… Oh if I’d only seen that the joke was on me

John Tudor, Brighouse West Yorks

FP: Ha! Unfortunat­ely, though, the joke’s on us. And it really is no joke.

A mother’s love knows no end. It is » unconditio­nal. It is animal. To mark Mother’s Day (next Sunday in case you’d forgotten!) my friend, and Eddie Izzard’s favourite photograph­er, Amanda Searle is exhibiting a collection of photograph­s – Transparen­t

Love – at London’s British Film Institute, featuring mums and their transgende­r children.

This is Izzy, 10, who was born a boy but knew she was a girl from a very young age, alongside her mum Oonagh. Can’t even begin to tell you how much I loved ITV1’s Harry’s Heroes: The Full English, featuring overweight, unfit 90s football legends managed by ‘Arry Redknapp, and on a mission to defeat the auld enemy, the Germans. Please can ITV get the lads/old geezers together on a regular basis; the banter between ‘Arry, Paul Merson, David Seaman, Matt Le Tissier, Razor Ruddock, Mark Chamberlai­n, John Barnes, Robbie Fowler, Chris Waddle, Mark Wright, Lee Sharpe, Ray Parlour and Rob Lee was classic comedy.

But the show achieved more, and also gave us some touching, poignant reflection­s.

Next fixture? Argentina, featuring Maradona and the Hand of God! Please!

 ??  ?? FP: Thank you, but I also know there’s no party I could stand for right now, Stuart!
FP: Thank you, but I also know there’s no party I could stand for right now, Stuart!
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