Hubby’s aunt grabs his crotch in front of family
Dear Coleen
I’ve been with my husband for 10 years and married for six. He’s 57 and I’m 54. We’re both on our second marriage. His aunt (his mother’s sister) is 68 and a complete flirt with him. Whenever we go to a family function she’s all over him. She always runs up and kisses and hugs him, and then rubs her boobs on his chest and says something about her breasts.
When he sits in the recliner, she sits on the arm of it beside him, rubbing his arm or stands behind the chair and massages his shoulders. On multiple occasions, she has walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his stomach, hugging him and then puts her hands towards his pockets and says, “Let me check to see how much money you got” while laughing.
The worst incident occurred a few days ago in front of me and around 20 of his relatives. She walked up to him and gave him a kiss goodbye, and grabbed his crotch!
He jumped and said “Oh, God!” and laughed, and she replied: “I just wanted to see if I needed one hand or two.”
This kind of behaviour is completely inappropriate in my opinion and I’m furious with myself for not calling her out on the spot. I wanted to say to her for all to hear: “Did you just grab your nephew’s crotch? You are sick.”
When I mentioned it to him on the way home, he just laughed and said: “That’s the way she’s always been.”
I told him that doesn’t make it OK and it’s disgusting to me. He says I’m overreacting, but she only does this to him. How do I handle this like a lady without going completely crazy?
Coleen says
Yes, it is weird and inappropriate. Maybe she has always been like that and has managed to get away with it under the “nutty old aunty” banner.
If that was an old uncle behaving like that towards his niece, it wouldn’t be laughed off and there’s no way he’d get away with it. Ask your husband how he’d feel if your uncle was doing that to you. I’m certain he wouldn’t find it acceptable because it isn’t. Make him think about it.
As for the aunt, I would absolutely pull her up on it if she does it again. I wouldn’t worry about coming across as not having a sense of humour because it’s not funny and it makes you feel uncomfortable. People who get away with inappropriate behaviour because “that’s just them” need to be reminded certain things cross the line.
You don’t have to shout at her, but you can be direct by saying calmly: “I find that behaviour towards your nephew inappropriate and it makes me feel uncomfortable, so please stop doing it.”