MY STEPDAD’S BEHAVING ODD WITH FIANCEE

Dear Coleen

I’m a man in my early 30s and last year I met a wonderful woman. At Christmas, I asked her to marry me. Things are great between the two of us, but my family are proving a problem or, more specifically, my stepdad.

Whenever we visit my mum and him, he seems a bit lecherous towards my fiancee and makes sexual jokes and innuendo, which makes me feel uncomfortable. He’s never done anything inappropriate and I’m certain he never would.

I’ve asked my girlfriend about it, but she’s far less bothered than I am. In fact, she said it doesn’t upset her.

The thing is, I haven’t said anything to my mum for fear of upsetting or embarrassing her. She was pretty miserable until she met my stepdad and, to be fair to him, he’s wonderful to her and she’s been very happy since meeting him.

My own dad was a loser who treated her badly for years, but my stepdad worships the ground she walks on. I can’t understand why he’s so inappropriate when my fiancee is around. What should I do?

Coleen says

I think you should leave your mum out of it and just take him to one side and mention it. Say you realise he’s trying to be funny and you think he’s a great husband to your mum, but ask him to cut out the jokes and innuendo because it makes you feel uncomfortable.

However, be prepared that things might be awkward between you and your stepdad for a while.

It could be a case of him trying too hard to be cool or funny, or perhaps wishing he were your age again. Also, ask yourself what it’s tapping into with you – you can’t possibly think your girlfriend would be interested in your stepdad.