I DON’T LIKE HIS BLATANT FLIRTING

Dear Coleen,

I’ve been with my boyfriend for three years and we moved in together just over a year ago. Things are good and he’s very attentive and loving, but he’s also a huge flirt when we’re out.

There’s one woman in particular whom he pays a lot of attention to – she works behind the bar in our local pub, so he sees her quite a lot! Whenever we go in, he chats to her and it’s as if I don’t exist. He also drinks there with his mates one or two nights a week when I’m not around.

My friends have suggested the way he behaves with other women isn’t appropriate and have said they wouldn’t put up with it, which has planted a seed of doubt. Is he making a fool of me and should I say something?

I don’t want to come over as needy and possessive, but I don’t want to be a mug either. He’s a very outgoing person – the life and soul – and everyone warms to him, but I’m wondering if my friends know something I don’t?

What do you think?

Coleen says

Fine, your friends wouldn’t put up with it, but you’re not them. Sometimes in situations like this, we become more worried about justifying things to our friends and family.

If you genuinely believe there’s nothing in it and you’re OK with it and see it as part of his big personality, then it doesn’t matter what your friends think. However, if it’s really getting to you and making you feel insecure about the relationship, then tell him and explain where the line is for you.

If he’s arrogant and dismisses what you say and tells you to get over it, then you have a decision to make about whether you want to be with someone who makes you feel insecure. He needs to respect how you feel about this.