MY DAD HAS A FAVOURITE GRANDCHILD

Dear Coleen

I have a boy aged nine and a girl of seven. My problem is that my dad favours my son, which I find really upsetting. He was the first grandchild and my dad adored him from the start, which is lovely, but he doesn’t pay the same attention to my daughter.

Recently, the kids got into a fight and my dad shouted at her to leave, while he talked to my son to make him feel better. She was very upset and I had to try to sort it out.

I hate that he’s got a favourite, especially when there are only two of them, and I worry that as she grows up she’ll become more aware of it. What should I do?

Coleen says

Well, it sounds as if your son has a special place in your dad’s heart, but if it’s getting to the point where you and your daughter are upset by it, then I think you should bring it up with him.

You don’t have to be accusatory or start a row. Just tell him that while you know he adores your son, you don’t want your daughter to feel second best. He might not realise he’s coming across this way.

As for the fight, I don’t know who started it, but it takes two and I’m sure your son isn’t a perfect angel all the time – again, a point worth making to your dad.

It might also be an idea to make a fuss of your daughter when you see your dad, and maybe there’s someone else in the family that she can have a special relationship with – how about your mum or your partner’s parents?

Hopefully, a gentle word with him will be enough to make him think about how he is with them both.