I had no idea what she was looking at online
Katie’s mum Hazel, 54, is an accountant, who lives in Crowthorne, Berks, with her son Ben, 19
Looking at Katie hunched over her phone on the sofa, I just assumed it was normal teenage behaviour. She and her friends seemed addicted to their phones and were constantly chatting online. I had no idea what she was really looking at.
The first time I became aware of Katie’s erratic eating habits was on holiday in America in 2012, when she was 14.
Instead of eating out at restaurants with us, she would insist on going to the supermarket to buy faddy health foods. But since we were abroad and there were lots of new foods to try, I didn’t think anything of it.
However, once we got home, her eating habits became more bizarre.
She stopped eating breakfast and in the evenings would push food around her plate.
But she told me she always ate her packed lunch and I believed her.
When I was younger I sometimes used to skip breakfast so it didn’t seem like a cause for concern. Around the same time, Katie became moody and withdrawn. Sometimes when she got home from school she would be upset. She would start hyper-ventilating and say she couldn’t cope. I took her to see the GP, who diagnosed her with a generalised eating disorder and suggested six months of counselling. But over time things got worse. Katie’s weight plummeted and she began to look drawn and ill.
It was then that she was diagnosed with anorexia.
I spent hours sitting with her each evening to ensure she ate some food. But even the tiniest thing, like the food being served on the wrong colour plate or her brother starting his food before her, was enough to set her off.
Some days it was a struggle for her to eat a few mouthfuls. We stopped going out or inviting people round to the house because we didn’t want to interrupt Katie’s meal times.
I felt guilty because I couldn’t always spend as much time as I’d like with her brother Ben, who’s two years younger. But I knew if I couldn’t get Katie to eat, the consequences could be deadly.
It never occurred to me that she could be looking at such dangerous material online. She even started an Instagram account documenting what she was eating. It seemed like a positive step, so I encouraged her. But it gradually became clear that we couldn’t fight the illness on our own. Katie became severely underweight and at 17 was admitted to hospital.
Seeing her covered in tubes after her overdose was rock bottom, but since then she’s found ways to manage her mental health better. Now, I couldn’t be more proud of what she’s achieved.
In the last few months, she’s talked to me about what she was reading and looking at online when she was ill.
I had no idea pro-eating disorder content even existed, let alone that my daughter was looking at it.
I’m shocked and saddened to know what she was going through and that she couldn’t turn to me for help. But I know that anorexia is a secretive illness.
I only wish I’d been armed with more information about the dark side of social media.