So, what should anxiety sufferers try next?

In the second part of our exclusive guide, Chloe Brotheridge looks at ways to calm an anxious mind

Boost your self-esteem

In my work with people with anxiety, low selfesteem is often at the root of things. If we don’t feel “good enough” we might doubt our abilities, feel nervous around new people or worry that what we’re doing is not up to scratch.

A healthy level of self-respect is essential for good mental health. To boost your self-esteem, make a list of the things that you’ve done well in your life, the challenges you’ve overcome and the people you’ve helped. That might include getting a new job that you enjoy, overcoming the challenge of a divorce or helping your sister to move house.

Getting into the habit of appreciating yourself is vital for building self-esteem and confidence.

Be kinder to yourself

Many people are much too hard on themselves. If a friend or loved one were to come to you and they were upset after having had a bad day, what would you say to them? Would you tell them “You’re such an idiot! I can’t believe you’ve messed up again! This is so typical of you!”. I don’t think so. You’d probably be kind, caring and reassuring. We instinctively know that being kind to a friend is the best option because harshness wouldn’t help them to feel better.

So how come we’re so unkind to ourselves? It only makes us anxious and doesn’t work to motivate us to do better in future.

Kindness to ourselves is always the best option. When you speak to yourself, ask: “Would I speak to a friend this way?” If it’s no, work on changing.

Make time for things you like doing

When was the last time you did something fun, that was just for you? Taking time out to do things we enjoy and things we’re good at boosts our self-esteem and reduces our anxiety. Take the neighbour’s dog for a walk, get outside and play football, get creative with some craft supplies or go for a bike ride.

How to overcome fears

I used to be terrified of public speaking and meeting new people. I’d avoid any situation where this might happen. One day, I realised that the fear was not going to go away on its own, I needed to take action.

I slowly began to challenge myself to speak to more people. I’d strike up a conversation with someone in a shop, even though I felt socially anxious, or I’d make myself ask a question in a meeting. Slowly, my anxiety reduced.

When you have anxiety, the racing heart and butterflies in your stomach are caused by the fight or flight response. Your body has perceived there to be a threat and is getting ready to run away or fight. When we challenge ourselves, we learn that the situation is not actually a threat and we can survive. We learn to trust ourselves and we grow in confidence.

These days I speak in front of hundreds of people and can happily introduce myself to anyone. You can overcome your fears too. Start by taking a small step in the direction of what

makes you anxious. If you have a fear of heights, start by going up one more floor in an elevator, then build from there. If you have a fear of spiders, start by just look king at pictures of them and take further steps as you grow more comfortable. Anxiety is reduced by taking action.

How to feel more resilient

Resilience is our ability to recover from difficulties and setbacks. Here’s how you can start to feel stronger and become more resilient.

■ Being kind to yourself and treating yourself with the same kindness as you would a good friend is vital. It helps you recover more quickly from setbacks and disappointments because kindness cushions and gives you the strength to handle challenges.

Take a small step towards what makes you anxious. If you have a fear of heights, go up one more floor in an elevator

■ Take steps to challenge yourself. Rather than avoiding situations that scare you, take small steps towards what you fear. You become stronger and more capable as a result.

■ Label your feelings. Studies have found that when we can accurately name our emotions, it calms us down. The feelings wheel (feelings wheel.com) lists every emotion. Once you can describe your feelings, it’s much easier to explain yourself to a friend or professional.

How to support a loved one with anxiety

■ If you don’t experience anxiety yourself, it can be difficult to understand. Try to educate yourself about what anxiety is like by reading books and blogs on the topic and asking your loved one to explain how they feel.

■ Sometimes listening without judgment is enough. Many people don’t want advice, but just someone to hear them and be there for them. Be careful about giving unhelpful advice such as “just stop worrying”. No one chooses to have anxiety and if they could “just stop worrying” they would.

■ Encourage them to try new things, but try not to rush them or pressure them to do something before they are ready as this can make anxiety worse.

■ Ask them what they need support with. They might like you to go to the doctors with them, or help them to find a therapist, or just be someone to listen and ask questions.

■ Chloe Brotheridge is a hypnotherapist, coach and author of The Anxiety Solution (£12.99) and Brave New Girl: Seven Steps to Confidence (£12.99), Penguin Non-Fiction