When Prince Chuck met a right Charlie
CHARLES: Welcome to Clarence House, Mr President.
TRUMP: Thank you, Clarence, you and your lovely wife Diana have a beautiful home. But I notice CNN is your primary US fake news channel. Don’t you have Fox?
CHARLES: It’s.. oh, never mind. No, I’ve not seen Fox News. But I do like foxes. And badgers. Nature and all that.. and some of my best friends are vegetables. Which reminds me, you say climate change is fake news. But since you pulled out of that Climate thingy the world is getting warmer and sea levels are rising.
TRUMP: Hey look, Lord of Wales. If I can turn the White House into beachfront real estate, it’ll send the value through the roof. And while your country is nice, frankly it could do with a little warming up.
CHARLES: Yeeees, well, let’s move on… are you enjoying your visit? TRUMP: This town is awesome, your majestosity. I was told YUGE crowds were planning to fill the streets for The Donald – but I guess Buckingham House must be in one of Mayor Khan’s no-go areas.
CHARLES: No, Mr President. In fact, I dearly hope to reside there myself one day. If the current tenants ever move on. Now there was one thing I wanted to raise, Donny – may I call you Donny? No?
OK – anyway I rather feel you’ve been beastly to my daughter-in-law.
TRUMP: Whoa, Chuck, I didn’t say Meghan was nasty. I said I didn’t know Meghan was nasty. That’s bigly, bigly, different.
CHARLES: No, no, the other one, Kate. You said she had “only herself to blame” for those topless photos. Would you want to see topless pics of YOUR daughter in the press?
TRUMP: Hell, yeah. If she weren’t my daughter I’d be dating her. CHARLES: Right, err, yes. Time for dinner, Mr President?
DEMAND Shakira Rahman, 11, at the Palace yesterday