I CAN’T ESCAPE MY GAY LOVERS

Dear Coleen

I’m a 22-year-old male and I’m bisexual, although I’ve never been to bed with a woman. I’ve had two gay affairs, so I know I like being loved by other men. I work in a factory and I’ve kept my sexuality secret.

A few months ago, a new guy started at work – tall and good looking, and made no secret of the fact that he’s gay, and I really fancied him.

We ended up taking tea breaks together and he invited me out for a drink one Saturday. He suggested a gay bar and was surprised when I said I knew it and that I’d had gay relationships, but he said he wouldn’t tell anyone at work.

I went back to his flat and ended up in bed with him and his flatmate. This became a regular thing with the three of us, but after a few months someone from work saw us together and it went round the factory. Also, these guys got me into smoking drugs and I now want to break away, but it’s hard. I feel they’re controlling me. Please help.

Coleen says

You’re worried enough to write to me, so something clearly doesn’t feel right about your relationship with these guys. You need to get out of it.

From what you’ve told me, it doesn’t seem to be leading anywhere apart from getting more into drugs. You could become addicted and it’ll have an effect on your job and your other relationships.

Put aside the worries you have about your colleagues knowing about your sexuality and focus on moving away from these guys.

You’re also assuming your workmates will judge you, but the truth is, they probably won’t care and you’re building it up in your own head.

Your first step is to back away from this guy and focus on your other relationships with friends and family. Confiding in a good friend will also give you support.