My incredible girl showed me how to live

Jan Swan explains why she took on 40 gruelling challenges in memory of her much-loved daughter

When Jan Swan’s daughter Anita died of leukemia, aged just 32, Jan felt her own life had ended too. Heartbroken, she didn’t think she would ever feel joy again.

However, after completing an epic series of challenges in Anita’s memory to celebrate what would have been her 40th birthday, Jan says her beloved girl has shown her how to live again.

She says: “Because of my daughter’s death, I now live in a totally different way. Not just existing from day to day, but doing things that get my adrenaline flowing and make me realise I’m really alive.

“I have done things I never thought I’d do in a million years

– and probably never would have done had it not been for her.

“Of course, I would give anything for Anita to still be here. But I’m grateful that, through dying, my incredible daughter has shown me how to live.”

Jan’s challenges were born out of a desire to do something to celebrate Anita’s 40th birthday. “I couldn’t buy her a present and I wondered what I could do,” she says.

“I wanted something that would be a tribute to Anita, to the wonderful ‘go for it’ attitude that she had always had.

“So I came up with a list of 40 different challenges, and I hope every one of them would have made her proud of me.”

The list included gruelling physical feats – climbing Snowdon, rock climbing and flying through the air at 100mph on the world’s fastest zip wire – as well as fun quests such as becoming a burlesque dancer, sleeping under the stars and reading Anita’s favourite book A

Tale of Two Cities.

Anita was diagnosed with leukaemia in 2003. After a bone marrow transplant from her brother Richard, now 40, the family were hopeful she had beaten the disease.

“Anita had gone into remission

and we all thought she was doing well,” says Jan. “But suddenly it crept back and that was that. They told us to prepare, but how can you? About two weeks before she died, I went to see her while she was having chemo and I just cried and cried and cried.”

Jan says that the 40 challenges were inspired by Anita’s love of live.

“Anita was amazing,” she says. “She was always up for new challenges – climbing mountains, cycling through rainforests and white-water rafting in Borneo. She was a real character who had dogged determination and inspired everyone she met.”

Jan, a former chief executive who is now retired and lives in Aintree, Liverpool with her husband Frank, decided that before she started the challenge she needed to lose weight. So she joined Slimming World and lost 6st. Then, on January 1, 2016, she did the first task on her list, signing up for an indoor cycling class to help her get fit.

Next she climbed to the top of Beacon Hill in Lancashire and later visited Stonehenge.

Then came more physical challenges, including abseiling, taking on an assault course and whizzing down the longest zip wire in Europe at Penrhyn Slate Quarry at Bethesda in North Wales.

She took part in a quad bike rally, pulled on her wellies for a music festival and had her head shaved.

While she enjoyed everything she did, there were some obvious highlights – one was taking part in a television show. “I went on Tipping Point with Ben Shepherd and that was fun. I can’t tell you how I did because it hasn’t been shown yet.”

Among the more difficult challenges was following in Anita’s footsteps to climb more than 3,500ft to the top of Snowdon, Wales’ highest mountain. “It was supposed to take five or six hours, but it took me 10,” she says.

“It was difficult going up, but thinking of Anita kept me going. But on the way down I started to think I couldn’t do it.

“After nine hours, I couldn’t go on any further, so I sat down on a rock for a rest. When I looked down, there by the side of my boot was a tiny silver letter A. If my foot had been half an inch the other way, I wouldn’t have seen it.

“I was in floods of tears. It felt like Anita was willing me on. After that there was no way I could let her down.”

Completing all 40 challenges took Jan three-and-a-half years, but she has no desire to stop and has started on a second list, which includes posing as a life model and going wild swimming.

“Anita lived by Nike’s motto – go for it – and now I’m doing the same,” says Jan. “I would give anything for her to be here. However, I can live like she did – making the most of every precious moment.

“In my heart Anita has never died. She has kept me focused and made me live my life. If she were here, she would be so proud of what I’ve done.”

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Anita lived by Nike’s motto – go for it – and she inspired me to do the same