Dear Coleen

I’M NOT KEEN ON SISTER COMING FOR CHRISTMAS

This Christmas my husband and I have invited my parents to stay with us for a few days. Usually we go to theirs, but we had a baby six months ago and want to spend our first Christmas as a family at home.

My problem is, my younger sister has recently moved back in with my parents and they’ve asked if she can come, too.

I’ve fallen out with her as she’s had some issues with drugs and alcohol, and she’s put my parents through a lot of stress emotionally, physically and financially.

On the positive side, she seems to have turned over a new leaf, but can I trust her to behave appropriately? I feel extra nervous as we now have a child and I feel very angry with my sister.

Coleen says

I understand you being wary and I get why you’re angry because she’s put your parents through the mill. However, it seems like your parents trust her and think Christmas will be OK with you all together.

I’m not sure they would have suggested it if they were worried, especially as you’re new parents. But why not talk to them about it, tell them your fears and see what they have to say.

Maybe they can reassure you and you can plan for your time together?

As for feeling angry with your sister, why not speak to her before the holidays to clear the air and avoid anything erupting over Christmas dinner?

Explain to her why you’re angry, but also that you’re glad she’s turned a corner and you want to support her if you can.

She’s clearly making an effort to change her lifestyle, so embrace that, but have an emergency plan in your back pocket if things don’t go smoothly.