Dear Coleen

SHOULD I TELL MUM WHAT SISTER’S UP TO?

I don’t want to sound petty, but I’m feeling hard done by in my family. I have a younger sister (she’s 15 and I’m 17) who’s the apple of my dad’s eye and can do no wrong as far as both my parents are concerned.

However, I know some stuff about her that my parents don’t – let’s put it this way, she’s not the angelic girl they think she is. She comes across all sweetness and light and as if butter wouldn’t melt, but I know she’s drinking, smoking and sleeping with her boyfriend.

I wouldn’t feel so bad about it if I wasn’t constantly getting the blame for stuff at home and being compared to my “perfect” sister.

Should I tell my parents what’s going on? She’ll kill me, but I think they should know the truth.

Coleen says

Well, are you doing it out of spite or because you’re worried about her? Do you just want to get her into trouble because you feel angry and hard done by?

Of course it’s annoying if your younger sister gets away with stuff and she’s not as angelic as she makes out. But maybe this is more about you. If you’re feeling a bit sidelined or as if you’re being treated unfairly, then tell your parents.

However, I’d be careful about going in all guns blazing and listing all the things she’s been up to – it might be enough to just say that she’s not as angelic as they think she is.

But also, why not have a word with your sister about what she’s getting up to, but do it from a supportive position.

Let’s be honest, we all do stuff at 15 that our parents don’t know about – I certainly did! And I’m not naive enough to think my own kids are perfect or that I know everything they’re up to.

You’ll probably find your parents are the same – or maybe they’re more aware than you give them credit for.