Dear Coleen

I’M HAVING AN AFFAIR WITH MY BOSS’S GIRL

I’ve been sleeping with a girl for the past few weeks. We work together in a restaurant – she’s front of house while I work in the kitchen for her boyfriend, who happens to be the head chef.

He’s a real tyrant and I can’t stand him. If he knew I’d been seeing his girlfriend I’m sure he’d sack me on the spot and probably chin me as well.

I’ve got myself into this nightmare situation and don’t want to leave my job, especially at this time of year. I like her and I think she really likes me and wants to keep it going. What should I do?

Coleen says

Ever heard that expression about not messing on your own doorstep? OK, this is very risky and not least because your career and livelihood might be at stake.

Would you want to carry on working there under those circumstances? If your job is important to you, then I think you need to shut the affair down quickly and move on.

I wonder why you got involved with this girl – was it just a way of getting some kind of revenge on her boyfriend or do you genuinely like her?

As you say, she might really like you and may not want to end it. And, if you do finish it, she might get her revenge by telling her boyfriend and laying all the blame at your door.

I think what you have to do is talk to her about your jobs and being able to work together harmoniously, and doing what’s best to achieve that.

If you like her enough to want a proper relationship that’s out in the open, then she needs to finish with her boyfriend and, if I were you, I’d keep things on the back burner at least for a while until he’s accepted things are over, otherwise it could all get very awkward indeed.