This Trump toady just Gaetz worse & worse
SYCOPHANTS don’t come much bigger than Florida congressman Matt Gaetz.
As one of Donald Trump’s biggest toadies, he peddles any line the President wants, including his woeful approach to the coronavirus crisis.
This week, as Donnie claimed the outbreak was “good for the consumer”, Gaetz was seen mocking the situation. He even donned a gas mask, joking about the disease. Days later, he didn’t apologise after one of his constituents died.
But karma caught up with Gaetz. After he came into contact with a man who tested positive for Covid-19, Gaetz was placed under quarantine for 14 days.
Many would like to see him self-isolate for life.
ATTEMPTS by Florida police to round up a fugitive have for weeks proved udderly fruitless.
The police department in the city of Pembroke Pines tweeted: “Wanted: Unknown Cow. Description: Female cow. Brown with a white head. Faster than it looks. Talented fence jumper. Enjoys pools.” They say the cow is guilty of “Mooving violations, uddering false checks and fleeing and eluding police.” But I doubt they’ll want a pat on the back once they catch her.
A MAN has had his entire body tattooed blue to look like a real-life Smurf.
When asked why, Canadian former forklift driver Donnie Snider said: “I thought it would be neat… it’s a beautiful colour. Questions from strangers about my genitals have increased by like 10,000%.”
FORGET about being Crazy in Love, Surena Henry is just plain crazy.
The 48-year-old, below, was charged with unlawful taking of a motor vehicle and resisting or obstructing an arrest after being stopped by New Mexico police.
When she was pulled over and asked her name, she told police she was pop singer Beyonce Knowles.
Henry, of Las Cruces, was also slapped with a charge of concealing identity. I doubt Jay-Z will pay her bail.
ONE of the last known copies of a video game console that never came to market, the Nintendo PlayStation, sold for £283,000 at auction.
Video game collector Greg McLemore said after outbidding rivals: “It’s the single most expensive thing I’ve ever bought outside of a house.
“I believe that I got a great deal. To me it was worth it – especially when it’s combined with the rest of my collection, the whole of which tells a story I want to save for society.”
I’m sure society is grateful, Greg.
P.S.
MY philosophical barman Richard wisely observes: “Google Earth allows you to go and see anywhere in the world. So what do you do? You go and look at your house.” He’s got a point.