Dear Coleen

I FEAR I’LL LOSE WIFE AFTER HER JOB PROMOTION

I’ve been worrying a lot that my wife and I will grow apart. We’re both 31 and have been together for seven years. We do love each other, but we’re beginning to drift apart.

Six months ago, she was promoted at work to a role that’s very demanding and requires her being away a lot.

I’m really proud of her and completely supportive, but it has had a definite impact on our relationship, as we’re not as close any more.

Can you offer any advice on how we can get back what we had? I’m worried if it carries on like this there will be nothing to save.

Coleen says

When one partner’s circumstances change quite dramatically and the other’s doesn’t, it is a big adjustment. Maybe some of how you feel is down to the fear of losing her to the job? Of course it can work, but you have to make a plan to stay connected as a couple instead of letting things drift and hoping for the best.

It’s difficult if your wife is wrapped up in a new promotion – her mind is probably occupied with proving herself at work. And I understand you don’t want to come across as needy or unsupportive, but you can address how you feel without it coming across in that way.

It might be as simple as acknowledging there’s potential for you to grow apart and to make a conscious decision to check in and make time for each other and your relationship when you do have the opportunity.

A change like this can also be exciting – it can force you to restart things and breathe fresh life into the relationship.

And, in this horrible situation we all find ourselves at the moment, being forced to work from home will hopefully also give you time to reconnect.