LACK OF MONEY COULD RUIN US IN VIRUS CRISIS

Dear Coleen

Money – or the lack of it – has become a big issue for my boyfriend and me. I’m now very worried the current crisis is going to tip us over the edge.

My boyfriend went back to studying and his only source of income is occasionally helping his friend out behind the bar of his pub, while I’m self-employed.

Things were already tight and we argued a lot about money – now businesses are shutting down, I don’t know how this will affect us.

He always says I supported his decision to go back to studying, which I suppose I did. However, I carry most of the financial burden and he doesn’t seem to appreciate it. Do you have any advice?

Coleen says

I think what the nation is going through right now has the potential to impact our lives on many levels, and I understand your worry about how it’ll affect your finances and in turn your relationship.

Looking at it from your boyfriend’s point of view, you did agree to him returning to education, but you couldn’t have foreseen this situation and it would help to tell him how worried you are so you can talk about it.

It’s natural to be worried and you should feel able to admit that. If there was ever a time to pull together as a team, it’s now.

At the time, maybe you thought you’d be OK with him returning to study, but when reality kicked in, you began to resent the fact he wasn’t earning much. Or maybe you didn’t like the idea at the time, but didn’t say anything. And it’s OK to admit to that, too.

I think the important thing for your relationship is not to fight and accuse each other but to come together and see if you can support each other in these unique circumstances.