Dear Coleen

FANCY THIS GUY BUT HE DOESN’T WANT CHILDREN

During lockdown I’ve been having virtual dates with a man I’ve really grown to like. We met via a dating site and have kept each other sane during this time. He’s very good-looking, charming and an all-round nice guy.

My problem is, he dropped into conversation that he doesn’t want to have children – apparently, he never has. It doesn’t interest him and he has other things he wants to do with his life.

This has really floored me because he’s the first guy I’ve met in a long time that I’ve connected with and felt I could have a future with. However, I’m 31 and I do want to have a family. He’s a bit younger at 28, so I do wonder if he might change his mind. Can you advise?

Coleen says

I think it’s a risky strategy to hope he’ll change his mind. What if he doesn’t and you’ve wasted several years on the relationship?

If you want the possibility of having children, then I don’t think he’s the one for you, as cute and charming as he is.

What’s good is that he’s been honest with you – he could have strung you along and told you what you wanted to hear.

So I think it’s time to be honest with yourself and, if you know you want to be a mum, then tell him that and tell him that you can’t get involved with someone if that’s off the table.

It sounds as if you’ve been good for each other during this time, so maybe you should think of it as a great lockdown relationship and set your sights on finding someone who wants the same things that you want.

Good luck.