Dear Coleen,

AFRAID I’M TEXTING NEW LOVE TOO MUCH

I’m a 26-year-old guy and have been with my girlfriend since November. I’m a delivery driver and have been working throughout lockdown, while she’s isolating with her parents.

We didn’t think the lockdown would go on this long and it’s been hard being apart.

I find myself texting her all the time – messages, photos, videos, anything. I probably contact her about 20 times a day.

What I’m worried about is that I’m coming across as clingy or needy because she doesn’t respond to every message.

We’d only been together a few months before lockdown, so the relationship still feels very new. We have met outside at a distance a couple of times, but I’m worried that if I don’t stay in touch, she’ll think I’ve lost interest. What do you think?

Coleen says

This is new territory for couples – lockdown has changed the dating landscape. When I was younger, I used to love getting messages from my boyfriend and I think, especially now, it’s important to stay connected.

But if you’re worried about it, stop trying to guess what she’s thinking and just ask her if she’s OK with you texting all the time because you realise you send her a lot of messages.

However, I think she might have told you if she felt bombarded. Not everyone replies instantly to messages and, if you’re sending a lot, maybe she doesn’t think she has to reply to every one.

But also, don’t forget to have a conversation over the phone or via a video call – and maybe on days when you’ve arranged to speak, you don’t send loads of messages, so you have something to talk about. I’m sure as you start to see each other more in person, you won’t feel the need to send so many texts.