Dear Coleen

KIDS WERE ALL TOO BUSY TO STAY IN TOUCH

I’m a divorced woman aged 67 and have three grown-up children who all have their own kids. I’ve been OK during lockdown as I’m quite used to living on my own. However, I’ve struggled with not having contact with my grandchildren, who are aged between four and nine.

My children have been terrible at staying in touch over the past few months, and whenever I mentioned I’d like to speak to my grandchildren more, they all apologised for being rubbish and said life was hectic.

I don’t think they understand how hurt I felt being so far down their list of priorities.

Now the restrictions have been eased, though, my children have already been in touch individually, dropping into conversation that it would be good to leave their kids with me at some point over the summer, so they can “get a break”.

Of course I’m desperate to see my grandchildren, but I can’t help feeling used. Is it just me or are they out of order?

Coleen says

I think they’ve all been pretty selfish. There’s no doubt that coping with kids in lockdown while trying to work and provide some education has been tough for parents. However, a video call with the kids once a week or a card in the post isn’t too much to ask.

Having said that, it’s not worth falling out over. Use this as an opportunity to have a proper conversation with your children about staying in touch with your grandchildren going forward.

And don’t cut off your nose to spite your face – if you want to see your grandkids, have them to stay when the restrictions are lifted.

Kids grow up and make their own decisions and it won’t be long before they won’t have to rely on mum or dad to set up a video call or write a card.