On Last Night’s TV

The Secrets She Keeps, BBC1 ★★★

There was a new frontrunner in the Least Surprising TV Revelation Of The Week race last night on BBC1.

Ten minutes into the second episode of this Australian psychological thriller, yummy mummy blogger Meghan broke down and admitted to her equally annoying sister Grace: “I slept with Simon.”

Thanks, we already knew that. Just like we knew your new pal/stalker from the supermarket, Agatha, wasn’t really pregnant.

And just like we knew your husband Jack (Simon’s best mate) was having an affair with that glamorous estate agent who had rather pointedly mentioned that he “drove a hard bargain”.

To call those three plot points “spoilers” would be an insult to your intelligence.

So far the only truly surprising/disturbing thing is that someone did a John Lewis advert version of Kylie Minogue’s Can’t Get You Outta My Head for the theme tune.

That said, it is utterly addictive viewing. And I suppose if we’re going to have to sit through yet another TV drama with a grieving woman going haywire, at least having Downton Abbey’s Laura Carmichael playing the part makes for an interesting twist.

Carmichael is excellent as Aggie. She’s so good, in fact, it would be nice to think Aggie is heading for a happy ending.

Unfortunately, that doesn’t seem likely.

Well, unless the hacksaw, four plastic sheets, 3m garden hose, screwdriver and Stanley knife in her online shopping basket last night were merely preparing us for a twist in which she creates the most spectacular showstopper the Australian version of Bake Off has ever seen.