Dear Coleen

I FEEL LONELY AS MY MATES SETTLE DOWN

I’m a 22-year-old guy and I’m single, and have only ever had really shortterm relationships that never go anywhere.

What makes it worse is that most of my mates have serious girlfriends, so I feel like a spare part most of the time. I also feel quite lonely because they don’t have as much time for me any more.

It’s been especially hard during lockdown because I’ve felt cut off and have had too much time to think about it.

Have you any ideas about what I can do to move forward in my life?

Coleen says

Yes – take a step back and take a big deep breath! What’s the big rush? Look, I know Brooklyn Beckham has just got engaged at 21, but it’s still so young.

At 21 most people have only ever had short-term relationships, so you’re in the majority. If most of your mates have “settled down” at 21, then I think that’s unusual.

Lockdown was really tough for young single people – you couldn’t go out with your mates and meet people, but now you can start to do that again, albeit at a distance!

You’ll meet someone you fall in love with and, when you do, all the angst you feel now will be a distant memory. In the meantime, you should be making the most of your youth and your freedom.

As for your mates having less time for you, why not be more proactive and ask them to meet you at the pub or go for a run or whatever it is you like to do? Now that lockdown restrictions have been relaxed, I imagine most of them will be desperate to get out and socialise again. Good luck.